02 March 2007
Why do Bad People always receive Rewards
I’ve been through enough in my life to have come across some really bad people. They don’t shock me like they use too, but its funny from whence they come. What makes me stop and think recently is Why Do the Bad People Always Receive the Rewards and the truly good people seem to be trampled?
I won’t bore you with my entire past, because I could really show too many less than good people, but lately, I keep asking when will my suffering stop. There have been people from my past who were truly ugly people. I don’t mean ugly in the since of physical beauty, but rather that their interactions with me were so dark that it kills the flowers from their vines and the light is suffocated out of existence.
One such person was David, who I worked with at the young age of twenty years old. David hated me because I was a young kid who worked hard and received the opportunities he felt he should have received. I shined for the first time in my life and the Director took a personal interest in my development. I was moving up the corporate ladder in a Marriott company while David didn’t like that I made his title and position within a year of being with the company. David has been struggling to get ahead for more than five years without gaining any traction. He suffered with a cocaine addiction that threatened more than his job at times. On one occasion he told me that he had already decided that my death would not be worth the cost of the blow it would take to get rid of me. To this day I know he was serious about his comments, which alarmed me with how easy he could consider killing another soul for something like a job.
It made me think for the first time in my life as I realized he was considering my life to have so little value that he considered it wasting cocaine to use it in my demise. David thought so little of the life and soul within me that getting rid of his competition or problem by killing me would somehow enrich his life. All of this over a job!
Then we have to talk about my current boss. Jorge is the CIO of Taylor, Bean & Whitaker Mortgage Corporation and he got upset when the owner (Lee) asked him to find a position in the IT team for me. I also think he was offended at having to hire a gay man because while the owner of TBW is gay, Jorge has surrounded himself by a very heterosexual team of people. That is a very difficult thought to prove because Lee is gay and has a very close relationship with Jorge. Jorge has such an ego that it interferes with many aspects of running the IT department at TBW. For instance no one can hold a title anywhere close to his own. The man who has been managing the infrastructure, Cecil, has had the title of Technician III, not Manager, however designed a vast and complex infrastructure that supports an intricate environment.
Lee hired a new person without Jorge’s knowledge at the beheadst of an outside consultant who identified a series of problems plaguing the TBW IT Team. While
Jorge would not be bad if he only had an ego, but that is just the start. He placed me in a dead end job, making no money and with no capabilities to prove myself. I have almost twenty years experience and I am a gifted project manager. I am also a great IT manager/director, but I was denied every opportunity to prove my value or worth and my attempts to identify issues and suggest solutions only furthered my isolation. I am the laughing stock and the joke of the TBW IT department and then someone finally had the nerve to ask the question based on a rumor that Jorge himself was spreading; did you really get your job by sleeping with Lee? I asked who would even indicate such a thing and I was told by several people, Jorge. That he openly made such statements on a number of occasions to everyone in the IT team. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but the truth was not what anyone wants to hear when the person controlling so many is depraved, sick and twisted.
I recently found out that Jorge has set it up so that anyone calling for a reference to TBW about me has to get their reference from him. He is directly black balling me. My fault was to ask my roommate if he could ask his good friend Lee, who has a nation-wide mortgage company, if they could put me to work doing anything. Jorge has me so locked down that my only way is out and he even went as far as to indicate that very sentiment to me. For more than a year, I’ve been trying to get out, but he has taken care of several really good opportunities with bad references.
How can so few people impact a life so negatively and why would they want too? I just want another job and I want to give him exactly what he wants, which is for me to leave TBW. I don’t care where I go or if it even strengthens my career at the present time, it could be doing almost anything in IT industry, I just want away from the depravation of this company. I’m tired of working hard and being a good and honest person only to be shit on by those around me who take their queues from a bad people. The Jorge’s in this world seem to have all the good opportunities, the right positions and the ability to kill what dreams we may have for ourselves. So why continue the fight when there is no chance to win? Why play the game? Why deal with a living hell shadowed by nothing but gloom and darkness?
10/05/2007
I wrote this distressing piece, but never posted in to any of my bloggs. In the time that has past since writing it, I found a good job surrounded by positive people. The people are the reason the change has been so rewarding and the reason I have excelled in a short period of time. It is odd and shocking how the people around you can so negatively or so positively change your life. What a positive change can happen when people other than yourself believe in you and your abilities or just give you the opportunities to prove your value and capabilities.
I took a project management position with a company called Silverpop. They are a very energetic company that moves at a fast pace. My bosses, Waylon and Garrett, are both positive and challenging. I find myself both eager to learn the immensely complicated products that are extremely well designed inside our doors with extremely gifted professionals in every division of the company. Working with such gifted people is such a joy that challenges a person in all the best possible ways. The curve to learn that which I don’t already know has pushed me forward making me a better professional and teaching me skills I did not already posses. My immediate boss (Waylon) has guided me through the doors of a very complicated position and I find myself striving to improve and sharpen skills just to make sure I can please him and make his superiors grateful for his role within their ranks. It is not lost on me how sharp the contrast between my current role and my previous hell. Silverpop has everything I was struggling to find for so long and removed me from the existence of a living hell.
There are good people in the world just like the bad ones. I’ve met my share of bad people like Mike and Jorge, but I have also been influenced by some truly gifted and amazing people as well. People like the Director at Marriott who saw something in a twenty year old boy struggling to make a man out of himself. Ellen Freeman is a great friend and powerful Media Powerhouse who not only created a mega-powerful career in a man’s industry, but made her voice the only one the industry listened too. Influences personally and professionally from as close as my first boyfriend; Rick Mickool, who has become such an industry leader that his ideals are sought after and his opinions listened too while his next steps are regarded as trend setting and cutting edge. There are many other wonderful souls who have touched my life and when I originally wrote this blogg I could not see their influence struggling to surface in hopes of changing the direction I once headed.
I know how negative adulation and perspective are hideous reminders of our current situations and can paint a dark picture. It is hard to see the sun light when you are surrounded by dark clouds blocking it from shinning through. I have to say that I was closely arriving at the point when this was first written where my world could not see those rays of light shinning through the clouds that enveloped me. Self loathing and hate were all I could see because they were the last gifts given to me by someone who impacted my life for far too many years. He and all of his ghosts have left my life and the sun has cleared the skies once again. I am happy and can see people like Jorge for what they truly are…a pebble in my shoe that needs to be removed. Once you clear all that obstructs you from the good person you already are, you become the only obstacle blocking your own path. The words I typed above were profound and remain on this page as a reminder of the steps I’ve made to move my life forward. There are positive influences, but they must first start from within you. It is as true today as it was for the seven years I walked in darkness; the sun starts to shine from within my own heart and will reflect what emanates from within me. Jorge was given power over my life by me and because of me. He is gone from influence because I rid him from my life. He is the bad person I wrote about, but only to those who allow him to be. He too will receive what he gives and that will make him a truly lonely, desperate and dark person in his own life. Let him live his life and answer for his own darkness, because I chose to live my life in the sun light and shine on all of those with whom I can positively affect.
May your own life be enriched by the rays of hope I send to you. May the warmth of my sun help spark the flames within your heart giving your life the power it needs to positively effect change! The greatest gift I can ever give you is to Love, Honor and Respect all of the people around you; but most importantly, give the same gift to yourself too!
My gift to you,
Todd M. Dobson
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