Lessons for Life ~ Love

18^th of July 2009

Series called:

LESSONS FOR LIFE ~ LOVE

I hope that some of the lessons (Lessons for Life) written about in this blog resonate with a part of you. This message is one that should be the most obvious; however, I for one know from experience just how difficult it can be to see through the clouds that enshroud our daily lives.

The greatest gift we have to give anyone, including ourselves, is LOVE! To some that may sound trite, and yet there is nothing more important than understanding how LOVE moves within our lives. I’ve written many times how we enter this world knowing only one thing…how to LOVE, and yet, we are taught everything else.

The reason we know how to love when we are born has as much to do with the place we come from as it does that we spend up to nine months inside a cradle constructed for LOVE...the womb of our mother. In most cases that person radiates love when she’s pregnant. We cannot come into this world with the cumulative knowledge of our previous lifetimes, because it would impede those lessons we agreed to learn. For the majority of us, the process of growing within our mother’s womb is also a central focus of the love that is cherished by both mother and child.

It must also be said that regardless of the circumstances surrounding our lifetime, we must discover how to love ourselves. Many of us have experienced some truly atrocious things within this lifetime. If you have suffered from abuse, neglect and dysfunction, I do understand how difficult it is to do something as simple as loving yourself. Many of us think that it is far easier to find love from another, but that will never give you the depth or the breath of the LOVE that you require. We must do that for ourselves in order to know that what we receive from others may be wondrous, but it is cursory to that which we know within ourselves.

I am speaking of a LOVE that you share with another. A deep and abiding LOVE that you share with that special person as you build your own family. This Love is truly a gift and must be cherished as you give unconditionally to that person and receive simultaneously from them. There is nothing that can emulate the feeling as you find that one person and infatuation blossoms into a deep, fulfilling LOVE that you desire as your heart aches in their absence.

I am also referencing a love that you give freely to all others who surround you and enter our lives through all sources. Yes, the person you read about in the news or see on the television should invoke a sense of LOVE and COMPASSION. Yes, this love is different from that you share with someone special, but your neighbors, your co-workers, colleges and even the people you meet on the street deserve your LOVE. We must refrain from judging others because unless we are able to walk in their foot steps, we are truly incapable of knowing how or why they got where they are now. That is where the LOVE in our hearts needs to be sent even to the person we pass on the road during our travels. The nameless person that we catch a glimpse of in passing, deserve the same LOVE that we send to our family, our friends and those we cherish dearly. Even then, it is our responsibility to find it within our heart to choose LOVE over all other emotions during the course of our daily lives. That may be a more challenging concept to digest; as you think, “I must love the stranger who bumps into me at the coffee shop spilling my double foam chi late all over my new suit. The answer is “Yes!” As difficult as you think that may be, it is our duty to find it within our heart to feel LOVE as apposed to anger, frustration or any other emotion.

LOVE comes and goes in many different forms. As the world continues to change, we must connect with LOVE as our primary emotion, but let it be that which we fall too first, last and always. For the average person that is not how we focus our daily living, but it should be. As we make the change in connecting to LOVE, we will find that it is easier to give and to receive. Let LOVE be your focus always and forever, it will never lead you astray.

LOVE CAN NEVER BE WRONG

Your humble servant – Todd M Dobson

Lessons for Life ~ Life and Death

14^th of July 2009

Series called:

LESSONS FOR LIFE ~ LIFE AND DEATH

The subject of death seems to be extremely emotional for people. The obvious reasons are the loss of a loved one. How would it change your views on death and the living, if you accepted that those who passed away were not gone; that they remain a passive element of our lives?

In the West, we’ve been taught that there are only three things that are certain in life; we are born, we pay taxes and that we die. We directly and indirectly learn that once we die, there is nothing more. We are buried, the ones we leave behind must grieve our passing and unless you “repent and accept God,” there is nothing more.

Jesus spoke multiple times about the soul lasting beyond the death of the physical body. Christianity taught for over three hundred years that the soul within each human being, came from God and once physical death occurred, it traversed back to God. Three hundred and twenty five years after the death of Christ, Emperor Constantine created the Council of Nicaea. Constantine was a life long Pagan, but understood humanity enough to know, that if family member would kill another family member due to a difference in ideology, then he must unite their beliefs. He set out to create a unified religion that took from all other ideologies and set forth as the only religion in the world upon which he mandated its practice. Constantine did not feel reincarnation benefitted this unified religion and had all references to reincarnation expunged from the Old Testament. He then established that no one should teach reincarnation directing the Council of Nicaea members (three hundred religious and political leaders of the time) to establish an ideology that would guide members to the church for salvation, thereby changing the world’s view of life after death.

This background information is to establish that most Western people do not have an in-depth belief in reincarnation. They identify this ideology as one from the East. However, this was not always an ideology specific to the East. It was believed, practiced and taught by almost all organized religions. They unilaterally believed, that the soul return to a dimension other than our own until such time that it chooses to return in a new physical body. If this is truly an old belief, why then does it enrage so many and invokes with great passion, retributions such as that forced upon the ruling cardinals of 545 A.D. to draft a papal decree stating that anyone who believes that souls come from God and return to God will be punished by death;

“If anyone asserts the fabulous preexistence of souls, and shall assert the monstrous restoration which follows from it: let him be anathema. (the Anathemas against Origen), attached to the decrees of the Fifth Ecumenical Council, A.D. 545, in Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, 2d ser., 14:318).”

For those who don’t believe, I ask why not? Why do you suppose we are born to live a singular lifetime and only learn what we are exposed too within it? Would it not make more sense, that our soul has been here before and with each lifetime comes a series of lessons? Our soul gathers the cumulative knowledge from each life as we return from our physical adventures to a place of peace, meant for resting between lifetimes. If you believe in an omnipotent being that created us and this universe, why would such a being only construct us for a single life? What do you do if the singular life you have, happens to be a difficult one or maybe a down right crappie one? Do you get angry if you don’t come into this world as Bill Gates, but rather the child born to no father and a mother infected with HIV, no food, no home and no family? Wouldn’t it make more sense that we have hard lifetimes mixed with good lifetimes to solidify the lessons we are meant to learn from?

I believe that we are an accumulation of all of our lifetimes. That we add to our base of knowledge by our experiences. We can learn when we are resting between lifetimes, but we learn more when we interact with other souls, here in this earthly realm. That being said, I’ve come to understand that we agree to the lessons we are set to learn in each lifetime. Understanding the lessons we must learn and the path of the life we are set to endure, we choose the family that will best establish our experiences. For the most part, we choose souls that we’ve experienced in other lifetimes. We come into each lifetime as an established being that will best serve our learning the lessons we agreed to learn: male, female, straight, gay, color, nationality, ideology, etc. will all be established to meet the needs for those lessons we must discover.

When you view life in this manner, I have found that it is easier to understand the arduous experiences that some of us endure. When you question why you are with a family, it is easier to accept that you chose them in service to your needs in teaching you the lessons that you agreed to learn. When we understand life in this manner, it changes how we view the harshness of some of our lessons. None of this will ever remove the greatest gift we’ve been given, “FREE WILL.” We can choose to remain on the journey that was established or we may decide on a different path. However, I have found that life is so much easier when you don’t fight the path you need to be on, and yet, I know that it is always our rights to change our fait.

Life is meant to be a wonderful and amazing experience for us. Our souls excel when you learn the lessons you are meant to learn and teach those lessons that you can teach. This knowledge is written from the perspective of a belief in God (an Omnipotent being), but if you are not of the faithful, please accept that in the life you now live, it may best serve your needs in not believing. That will always bring us back to a common place that says LOVE, HONOR and RESPECT all who surround you. They may be in a different position, learning lessons that you’ve already learned. It may be you who is learning the lessons that those around you have already digested. We can learn every lesson with love, or we may need to learn them through harm, hate, anger or misery.

These articles are building a base of knowledge (A Series: LESSONS FOR LIFE), we all start from the same place as exactly the same thing…..a SOUL. Our goal is to end at exactly the same place and that is an enlighten soul with grace. The only way to obtain our destination is to learn all of the lessons we must learn. If we do not learn our lessons in this lifetime, we will learn them in another. Some lessons can only be taught with distress, while some may only be taught with love, but we are the accumulation of all that we learn.

Your humble servant – Todd M Dobson

Lessons for Life ~ The Golden Rule

4^th of July 2009

Series called:

lessons FOR life ~ THE GOLDEN RULE

It is no mistake that almost every religion and most organized ideologies, such as Buddhism, have a similar saying; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

This phrase is known by many as the “Golden Rule,” and it says something that Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Taoism, Ancient Greek philosophy, Wiccan and even Paganism all have similar phrases. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is the verse used by Jesus Christ as depicted in the Bible chapter Luke. It is one of the more common quotes of this passage. The reason this phrase is so important is because when we start thinking of all people as much as we think about ourselves; we grow exponentially.

Taoism:

“The sage has no interest of his own, but takes the interests of the people as his own. He is kind to the kind; he is also kind to the unkind: for Virtue is kind. He is faithful to the faithful; he is also faithful to the unfaithful: for Virtue is faithful.”

A great lesson we must learn in life is that we are not alone. We must care as much about those who walk with us, as we do for ourselves. We become so focused on our needs, what to do for our children and what is in our own best interests that we forget there are others souls inhabiting this planet with us. We are so busy with work, family and what we consider living life, that we don’t know our neighbors. We don’t know their names or anything about them, much less if they need our help. We must get to know our neighbors and learn to care as much about them as we do for ourselves.

Judaism:

“That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.”

Before you do anything to your fellow being, would you take the same action against yourself? If you would not consider the same act against yourself, you should not take that action against your neighbor. Much of what we do against others is done out of fear. Fear and not hatred is the leading instigator that perpetuates harm and the killing of fellow souls. If the act is not that which you would do to yourself without fear, then it should not be done against others, especially in the presence of fear. The only thing we fear is fear itself.

Islam:

“Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you.”

To be a good steward of humanity, we must make choices that show our own individualism and yet we must also ensure all fellow people are able to do the same. That will not always be easy, but we must find a way and the means. Humanity will never survive if we think solely about ourselves. We must think, act and learn to love all others as much as we do ourselves.

Confucianism:

“Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself”

If we are to live in accordance to the Golden Rule, we must learn to Love all others as much as we Love ourselves. Love is the greatest lesson that we can possibly learn or teach. The next time you make a choice that places you adverse to another, take a moment to answer this simple question: would I do this to myself or would I like if they did the same to me? If you cannot answer that question easily, you should rethink the action you are about to take.

Baha’I Faith:

“Ascribe not to any soul that which thou wouldst not have ascribed to thee, and say not that which thou doest not.”

Your humbled servant – Todd M Dobson

Lessons for Life ~ Judging Others

6th of June 2009


Series called:

LESSONS FOR LIFE ~ JUDGING OTHERS

I think every one has watched Will & Grace on television. Many people love the bitchy, alcoholic woman named Karen that had a harsh word for everyone and everything that happened around her. While her sardonic demeanor was funny to watch, in real life, there’s not much joy being at the end of such wrath.

No body likes to be demeaned and talked down too like they’re a child or somehow inferior. If you read my last post, you understand that we are all the same. We start at the same place and ultimately when we’ve learned all of the lessons we must heed, our final destination is the same for everyone. I’ve also written many blogs that explain how when we enter this world, we come in knowing one thing as a person…how to LOVE. We learn everything else.

We are taught how to bully. We allow our confidence to be stripped away by others. We learn how to people and situations in order to make them feel inferior while we make ourselves feel superior. It is through our own ego’s need to feel in someway better than others, that we justify our own self loathing that leads to treating people as Karen does on Will & Grace. If we all start from the same place and we all end equally, the only difference for each of us is within the paths we take towards our final destination. Some turn to focused ideologies such as organized religions to navigate the treacherous waters of this world. Religion is a wonderful source to focus us, but most religions teach their parishioners to feel superior over those who are not members. That within itself is a judgment over the billions who chose another path.

We are all on our own path with our own journey that is as individual as our finger prints. Because we start at the same place with a singular goal of completing all of our lessons, but the differences between you and me is how we learn. For some of us religion will not speak to our hearts. There is no wrong means to learn life’s lessons or to educate those we must disseminate knowledge too. For some, organized religion is not the ideology that educates our way through life. My point is that we need to focus more on the lessons to be learned and taught and less on how we are different or better than those who surround us. Accept that what you choose to be may be right for you, and likewise may not for me as I step through my journey. That does not make either you or me wrong, just different. In no way am I superior to you or does that make you superior to me, so we should leave the judgments to happen after we pass from this world. Let the only one judging, be something or someone that is worthy of true superiority without ego causing the inflation.


TO JUDGE IS TO INDIGNANTLY CLAIM SUPERIORITY OVER OTHERS


Your humble servant – Todd M Dobson

Lessons for Life ~ Common Ground

1st of June 2009

Series called:

Lessons for Life ~ Common ground

In the introduction to this series, I alluded to the fact that we all start from the exact same place. When you read that point, you may very well say NO, I was born into this life with a family of status, or just the opposite to a family with no status and no means. While that is not what I refer too, it gives you a place for beginning these lessons.

I’ve come to understand that we are born into this world (dimension) to learn lessons and to teach them. It would be wonderful if all of the lessons we learn were taught in a class room setting or done through positive reinforcements. However, life does not always educate us in that manner. Many of the lessons we learn are taught in life as we experience it. Some are even taught through negative reinforcement. The people who enter our lives do so not by mistake, but rather with some design and they do so, to learn from us or to teach us. In some cases both actions are transpiring. Some will leave us wanting more while we are happy and blissful, while others will educate use during which time they break our hearts and rip away at the very fabric that makes our lives flow. Any of these means are purposeful and we should all embrace both the lessons we learn and those we disseminate.

If I am right and we are all the same, why then do we allow ourselves to fall victim to such vile like HATE, VIOLENCE or BIGGOTRY? These are the vices we cling too when we fear and do not understand. They are also that which teaches us some of our most profound lessons. The greatest of these lessons is not to give in to the power of FEAR! If we allow ourselves to fear, it will always cloud our vision and keep us from seeing those who might otherwise teach us so profoundly. If we are beholden to FEAR, we may not allow ourselves to associate with white people if we are black, black people if we are white, people of different nationalities, different cultures, different religions or even different ideologies. Because we hold ourselves back from those who are dissimilar, we loose the beautiful view of life through their eyes. We cannot experience life through their perspective and the lessons we might otherwise be exposed to through the wonders, joy and beauty that is Life itself.

When I state that we start from the same place and end at the same place, I mean that we are all here to learn the same lessons. Our ascension brings us to the same destination once we have learned all that we are intended to. We must garner the same knowledge and we will only ascend once we have achieved it. We start with nothing and we must learn everything. The knowledge that we must gain is specific and will step us through to the next lessons we still have yet to learn. Only once we posses all of it can we ascend to the next level. Because we all begin with no knowledge, that is how we all start and are exactly the same. Not one of us is given anything more than the others. You might argue my point and say that you are more intelligent than others; you have more resources (money) than others and so on. Some may acquire during a lifetime different means, but we must all learn exactly the same lessons regardless of our means during a given life. Some of us may learn faster than others and to some, the lessons may come easier. Money, power, intelligence are all wonderful components, but none of them will help and in many cases may even hurt learning that which you must learn during a lifetime.

Regardless of anything I say, we were all given something that transcends all religion and non religious ideologies. Something that can never be paused or taken from us….FREE WILL. You have the ability of free will to do, believe and say anything that you wish. No one can take it away from you….not a tyrant, not a government, not a religion. Free will is always your gift. I mention it because many of us turn away from the most power force within our lives or within the world…..LOVE. With love in your heart, you can over come any obstacle that is placed before you. With love in your heart, you can learn all of the lessons that we must and ascend as we are all meant to do…..and yes, eventually we will all learn the same lessons. The question remains, when will you learn them?

Your humble servant – Todd M Dobson

Lessons for Life

30th of May 2009


Series called:

LESSONS FOR LIFE

The last fifteen years have brought about enormous changes in my life. I had an amazing life fifteen years ago, but I could never have imagined that the path I would turn too might be the one I am on now. This is the setup for a series of articles I will be writing over the next few months. I hope that as you read this knowledge, that something will resonate with you.

This series is meant for everybody; however, only a few will garner knowledge from these teachings. They are designed to fill in the gaps you may have in learning life’s lessons. My greatest hope is that you will pass this information on while you teach others. I hope to not only provoke your learning, but also the transference to others that you encounter. Some will read my words and ignore or even get offended. I am truly sorry if any one refutes this information. We are all the same; starting at exactly the same place, we all learn and understand our lessons differently; therefore we begin at the same place, knowing the same thing and we will all end exactly at the same location. I can only explain that this knowledge is delivered with the LOVE in my heart and with the hopes for a brighter tomorrow for us all.

These articles are meant for everyone. From time to time they may resonate with your religion, and for that I am grateful. However, they are designed for all religions as well as all non-religious people. You don’t have to be spiritual to walk away from these lessons with the knowledge, love and faith. The FAITH that I speak of is the faith you must have within yourself and for yourself. You may think, well I don’t love myself or have faith within myself! If that is the case, please read more and let me know when you find that love and faith within you, because regardless of anything else, we are all exactly the same! Yes, one of the very first lessons you will learn is that we are all start from the exact place. Yes, some of us during our lifetimes may have something that seems to set you aside from all others, hell, Bill Gates, may seem to be slightly different than the rest of us, but he is just like the rest of us and must learn the same lessons and teach that which is intended for him to teach, just like you and just like me. If at any point you doubt the messages within these posts, search your heart and your soul for the answers that are truth for you. I know that when you connect with your pure heart and your higher self that this information will be shown to be absolute truth, of that I am not worried.

My first post will follow this and you will find another post from me on this subject at least one per week, if not more. I hope with all my heart that these blogs may say something to each one of you reading.

May you all be filled with Love, Light, Peace and Blessings


Your humble servant – Todd M Dobson

Turmoil In The Democratic Party

20th May 2008

TURMOIL IN THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY

I’ve been hearing and reading about problems inside the Democratic Party for several months, but these tribulations are not what concerns me the greatest; rather it is what I’m hearing from the voting public that heightens my anxieties.

Yes, we are desperate for a single candidate to appear victoriously rising to the challenges of organizing this election. Both candidates have strong qualities and they’ve both made enormous mistakes while on the campaign trail.

While I have comments to both Senators Clinton and Obama, the voting public needs to hear a couple of statements: Our current President Bush has put this nation in such a disastrous mess that I’m concerned anyone accepting the job may require one term to just to undo the harm caused by a greedy zealot. His administration has lied to the public numerous times to garner what they desired politically. We are loosing our sons, daughters, husbands and wives daily in two countries that not one person can authoritatively discern if we absolutely needed to be in either. I don’t even question if our presence has done well for the residences of Afghanistan and Iraq, because I know their liberation has been welcomed by the individual citizens. However, the good our soldiers have done, does nothing to alleviate the veracity of the Presidential administration that has engulfed this country in a war that has no ability of ever winning a victory – only loosing the lives of our valiant soldiers. This war has devastated what was a thriving US economy and perpetuated the destabilization of our economy via a confrontation over fossil fuels that will have the price of gasoline rising for the next few years exponentially. The actions of this President have decimated our Gross National Product while increasing our dependencies on imported commodities. We were once the greatest producing country in the world and now we are the neediest country in the world with President Bush attributing enormously to those changes.

Our current President catered recklessly to Corporate America giving to his petulant children all the riches within the US Treasury. This was payment in full for two terms of one Presidency that will go down as one of this great nation’s worst ever when the history books have reviewed his record. President Bush personally drained the once vibrant reputation of this great nation around the world and has ubiquitously tarnished our name to the point that it lies in the gutter with the remaining waste.

To those voters who are now saying that if Hillary Clinton wins the Democratic nomination, they will not vote or they will vote for Senator McCain and to those voters who are now saying that if Senator Barrack Obama wins the Democratic nomination, they will not vote or will vote for Senator McCain; I question your resolve. If you feel as I do that the Presidential Administration currently in office has destroyed this country and thereby must be removed from influencing political efforts in the future; then how the hell can you vote for Mr. McCain. He is a Bush III and will continue every one of the current policies for an additional four years.

This country has been damaged and its citizens have been harmed far too much and a President that will usher in healing as well as changing our downward spiral into a positive change economically and spiritually. Threatening to pull a vote and even worst to vote for a candidate who will not only continue our downward spiral, but add to its velocity and longevity is incredulous. Not voting because your candidate is not amongst those viable for this election will only give weighted means to an already horrendous tenure of policy and practices we good citizens have endured, not to mention spits in the face of all those citizens around the world who fight for the freedom to choose their leaders.

No, our election systems are not perfect and I for one wish to push through with our new President a bill that would change the means of electing the President of the United States and place that right back into the hands of the American citizens as with the popular vote. Currently the popular vote is null and void giving way for the Delegate and Super Delegate votes as the means of choosing our President. This process has failed us greatly in the past two Presidential elections when the popular vote chose one candidate and the delegate/super delegate vote inducted into office a devastating example of a bad President. However, our right to vote for the ruler of the largest country in the world is a privilege that less than fifty percent of humanity can exercise, which I for one will not take for granted.

I understand that you might not agree with everything in any one candidate; however we must remain optimistic that as long as we move away from the politics as usual in Washington DC currently, then there can be hope for our future. If you feel that Clinton would be the better candidate and she is not the Democratic nominee, ask yourself if Obama can do the job better than President Bush? Likewise, if you feel that Obama would be a better aspirant, however he does not receive the Democratic nomination, would Clinton do a better job than President Bush? If your answer to either question is “Yes”, I don’t understand the statement that some would not vote or would cast their vote for McCain in an act of vengeance.

We are not voting for someone who will go away in a week or two if he/she is not liked. We are electing the President of the United States and their administration will direct the policy of this great nation. This election demands action from its citizens and moving this country to a better place then where we’ve been the previous eight years. I personally would vote for my dog, Jake, before I would vote for another Bush in the White House. McCain is exactly that…another Bush that will continue the eradication of the American economic landscape.

In closing a strong message needs to be sent to Senators Obama and Clinton. This vendetta as a campaign needs to come to a close. In the process of closing it down, both candidates needs to stop attacking each other and pull together (if you like the other or not) to build a cohesive party that has the stability and momentum to fight Senator McCain and to win the Presidency. Without making a determination on who I personally wish to win the Democratic nomination, at this time the candidate who is loosing momentum and delegates/super delegates should be the one who works on an exit strategy with a definitive and short time table. That means with the numbers as they are currently reported by the media, Senator Clinton needs to exit gracefully instead of pushing for new ground.

Your humble servant – Todd M. Dobson

Response to Michael: Huckabee's Double Standards

Michael's Comments:

Michael Hopwood, CMI's Comment:

"That is a very strong argument against this candidate. I found it to be an interesting read yet I do feel the need to ask a question or two. Which, in your opinion, of the candidates currently running do you feel would stand up for the rights of the homosexual community and by that I mean not just announce they agree, but actually fight for those rights that every other American currently has? And I guess my second question is, are any of them actually honest in the speeches they make concerning those freedoms which are lacking for the gay community? I personally am not politically minded but am a registered voter and vote, however, my personal views don't always agree with that of the average gay man and therefore I sometimes get "beat down" for my beliefs. I further feel that since "Heterosexual Americans" feel so threatened by their sacred "marriages" that the term marriage should be removed and a term such as "Commitment", "Domestic Partner" should replace the word thus eliminating the threat heterosexual people seem to associate with two people making a choice to be together and share their lives as one.

Just my opinion. Have a great day. I love reading your blogs BTW.

Michael"

7th of January 2008

Hello Michael,

Thank you for reading my blogs and thank you for your compliments.

You raise some interesting questions that I will answer to the best of my abilities. As always, these are my thoughts and my feelings on the subject of Mike Huckabee. As you can tell, I do not like the man or his overt homophobia that he feels justified in displaying as a badge of honor based on his "Good Christian Values".

My dislike for Mr. Huckabee comes from the fact that we know that all politicians lie and make promises they have no intentions of ever fulfilling. They disguise their own biases as to show only what they feel needs to be disseminated in order to get them elected. After they win the elections do you start to see the substance or lack there of within the person you placed such faith within. If he is so comfortable to speak openly about his hate with such loathing for homosexuals, it scares me what lurks behind the curtain.

Huckabee reminds me with great parallels that Hitler was an extremely charismatic man who spoke openly to an undercurrent of hate that many of the German people recognized within them, but knew could not be acted upon as a civilized society until such a leader substantiated their rights to hate. Once Hitler came into power he was given free rein to espouse the loathing venom that ran within him because his rise to power was built on it. Likewise if Mike Huckabee feels justified in his hate and loathing for homosexuals before being elected to office, what could we expect as a community if he were ever elected President of the United States?

As to your questions; I don't know who best stands up for the homosexual community and I am currently trying to ascertain that information. I sent to seven of the candidates today seven questions to help me make an informed decision based on a variety of issues. My questions went to Republicans and Democrats and covered a range of topics that I find to be important to most Americans. I realize that getting one person to stand up during an election and tell the truth, that all gay men and lesbian women are granted the exact same rights given to every heterosexual man and woman via our United States Constitution would be improbable, but I do dare to dream. I don't expect to choose one candidate based on gay rights issues alone, but obviously it will be a factor in my decision.

I agree that our political process leaves a great deal to be desired in its current state. Partisan politics has divided Washington leaving our process grid locked and broken with the people suffering are you and me. Politicians run polls to tell them everything before they ever make a decision or they base the few decisions they do make on partisanship instead of what is right for their constituents. They are worst than actors on the big screen because we pay actors to entertain us and their lies are inherent to the job they must do convincing us they are the part they play. When an actor does a good job lying to us, we don't consider them dishonest – just good actors. However, when the people we elected to represent our interest are caught acting more like actors then the honorable people we expected them to me, we do reference that as deceit.

We need to push our current elected officials in to changing the way Washington works. We need both sides of our Legislative process to work together for the common good – We The People. We the populace of America needs to send a strong message starting with this Presidential election that partisan politics will get you fired and that we want elected officials who can once again rest on their laurels. Honor and integrity need to be words with sincere meanings and special interest, PAC money and lobbying efforts by Corporate America needs to be removed from the political process. We must make the political process works for us again. We are the reason our Government is in Washington. If Washington won't clean itself up, then it is incumbent upon us to force them too. If our elected officials think it is justifiable to spread hate for any one group of people, it is our job to tell them emphatically "NO". The world is changing and the United States has slipped from being one of the mightiest leaders. We need leadership that will maneuver the United States of America towards reclaiming our glory once again. That starts with you and me getting involved as you said and voting. I don't care how you vote or who you vote for, but make your voice be heard.

Change starts with each of us and I am ready to see great change to bring America back to where we once stood – Proud – Strong & Free! We can do all of that and do so by Loving, Honoring & Respecting everyone…it just takes you and me to get started. Be the voice of change by getting involved.

Thank you Michael and I hope I answered your questions.

Your Humble Servant – Todd M. Dobson

Huckabee's Double Standards

6th of January 2008

Huckabee’s Double Standards

If you visit the Mike Huckabee Presidential web site (www.mikehuckabee.com), you see in the upper right corner the tag line “FAITH.FAMILY.FREEDOM”. In multiple speeches given in New Hampshire, Huckabee made references to our founding fathers and the notions of liberty and freedoms.

Huckabee needs to focus more on the issues that need solutions rather than bringing up the legacy set forth by our founding fathers. While I’m sure none of our founding fathers had to worry about homosexuality as an issue, however, I feel strongly that they would have dealt with it in far more positive manner than Mike Huckabee. As for Huckabee claiming that he stands for Freedom and Liberty, it goes to shows the extent a politician will lie in order to say the right buzz words.

Words have meanings that need to be utilized as they were intended for use. As I look in my trusty Webster Dictionary; the word liberty is defined as: “freedom from external or foreign rule; independence”. Mr. Huckabee, please explain to me how you saying that homosexuals are abhorrent expresses your view of gays and lesbians liberties. How when you take the oath of office to represent all United States citizens will you protect my liberties and freedoms as you swear on a Bible to do so? Please explain the dichotomy between what you are saying about homosexuals and what you mean when you express the rights to liberty that all Americans are granted by the Bill of Rights and the Constitution of the United States? Either you are lying to the citizens when you say you are a candidate who supports the rights of the people, or are you lying when a book your wrote as well as speeches you’ve given place homosexuals to the status of second class citizens. Who else is less than you in that quest for liberty? What other group won’t measure up and will feel your wrath if you were to achieve the office you seek?

Our second word that Huckabee seems to have forgotten its meaning is freedom: exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc. How am I free with you running this country? How do I stand a chance to live a life with the same freedoms that my neighbors, my family members or any heterosexual counterparts receive instantly in your eyes? How are my needs being met when you state openly that I am in the same company as pedophilia, sadomasochism and necrophilia? How do I feel the force of freedom when you tell GQ “that “civilization” may not survive if “what marriage and family means” is “rewritten” to allow gay marriage”? Please explain your definition of the word Freedom and what it means to you so that I and the rest of the United States knows what you mean, because right now I have an absolute sense that under your administration I have no freedoms as a gay man.

Huckabee states that he is a Religious man, yet that is a very ambiguous argument. So how would Huckabee answer the question “What would Jesus do if he stood in front of me? Would he deny my rights, my liberties and my freedoms? Does Huckabee touting his Religious background say that he himself is GOD and gets to choose my role in society? I am eager to know how Huckabee explains that Jesus said on several occasions how religion and politics should be separated and during his time fervently refrained from making political statements. If we must remember that it was the theological leaders who pushed for the death of Jesus Christ. Where would Huckabee have stood during the time Jesus Christ was crucified, because based on his positions and his need to be in the middle of the majority, he would have been right there in the midst with the other religious leaders asking for Jesus to die!

We need a President that will unite all of the many people who claim this great nation as home. We desperately need a leader who will take up the difficult stance of telling groups that wish to deny others their rights why they can’t do that instead of a leader that gives in to popular demands. We need a leader who if they were back in the day of Christ, would have stood up to all the other religious leaders making them realize how they benefited by Jesus walking the earth.

Mike Huckabee is not the man we need leading us. He doesn’t have the character it requires to do what is right; he wants to get by with doing what is easy. Huckabee needs to step aside and let one of the other candidates take center stage and he needs to be relegated back to his Baptist Church in Arkansas right next to the Farwell family and their Baptist Church.

Your Humble Servant – Todd M. Dobson

Leaving it all behind...

28th of December 2007

Leaving it all behind…

It occurred to me that for forty years I've been carrying around problems that have accumulated from day one in this life. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you know that living a charmed life was never for me. However this life has begun, I can unequivocally say; that I am fine with the path my life has taken and can't wait to see the direction it takes.

We are the sum of our steps in this life. We are today, where we've come from in our past. The nights I laid crying, the pain of physical abuse and the horrors of mental cruelty were just experiences that have prepared me for who I am today. There were good times interspersed throughout the horrible days and nights. Those good times with family also molded the man I've become. We come in to this world knowing how to love and for those of us who don't find our families the most loving or caring people to guide us in the process of growing up; we may find it arduous in letting go of the twinge. The bad and the good in our lives is the mix that creates us.

I type these words with the most open heart I've had in years or possibly in for ever. I believe them with every fiber of my being and I know exactly what I'm asking people to do. I have a father that denounces my existence because I'm not what he wanted for a son, but also because is current wife doesn't like a homosexual in the family. My mother barely speaks with me because she is caught between the different factions of our family. Those others have their own reasons for not wanting me to tell my stories, state what I know or express my feelings to the outward world. My older sister and her daughter can't forgive, forget or consider that I might actually be an honorable man. My younger sister is the one that is the most ambivalent about our relationship, but I restrain from a close relationship between us because of the actions along with the disinformation that was used the last time I opened my home and my heart to them. These family members, who I love, found my blogs several months ago. In locating what I've tried to tell them about for over a year, they also found that I have a book being published, which has once again placed me far outside the loving circle of my family.

I still espouse that letting go of my past and of the negative family emotions make me a happier, more peaceful person. It is easy to wallow in the past. It is not uncommon to blame the failures of today on the struggles and abuses from yesterday. What does it buy you other than a one-time pass for the problem you currently face and when does that pass expire? When do we mature and take responsibility for our own lives and halt the blame we tag those who negatively affected our lives?

These are difficult questions to answer and some people go their entire lives without finding suitable responses. They are extremely risky because the answers can be as simple as removing those who refuse to accentuate the positives in your life. In many cases that means eliminating family from having such an influence over us!

Removing the negatives in order to accentuate the positives is far more difficult than one might think, especially when that directly means going without the acceptance from the ones you naturally turn to first. My father wants nothing to do with me. Not really a negative, but when he tears me apart at every turn, slanders and assassinates my character, this defines the negative. It means that I decided to forgo my father being a part of my life in hopes that finding peace in my soul and love in my heart would fill the void left by his absence.

I don't advocate shutting out all of your family members without spending a great deal of time trying to resolve all concerns and work through your past with parents and siblings to create a positive environment. Only when all attempts to create this type of equilibrium fail consecutively, do I advocate cutting ties to focus on improving your life. Take these steps to create a whole person within yourself. In doing so, let go of the past. Let go of the feelings of hate and pain. Let go of everything that is not positive or good within your heart. Forgive those who inflicted the torturous moments that haunt you. By letting go, you heal yourself and create someone stronger in place of the person you know today. Be the person you want to be and lose the chains keeping you back in those moments of anguish. You have your own freedom to gain and to lose all that holds you from being the full person you are meant to be.


Before you can Love, Honor & Respect anyone else

You must first Love, Honor & Respect yourself!


Your humble servant – Todd M. Dobson

The Meaning of Christmas

14th of December 2007

The Meaning of Christmas

The true meaning of Christmas should always bring a smile to your face and peace in your heart. During the holidays, a grin is used by people who normally scowl, a gift is left by those who normally expect to receive, the smell of snow, the feel of a roaring fire, the taste of roasting nuts and the smell of winter green from the trees filling the air like a blanket draping over a cold body on a frosty night. Your ears hear the sounds of music from carolers at every turn and your senses feel the harmony in the air that draws closer this one time a year. To walk the streets with snow falling, the store front windows decorated and lights with tensile glowing all around will help set the mood for a truly magical time.

Anything that brings peace to three quarters of the world, even if only for one day, is worthy of everyone who lives every where taking part of its majesty.

CHRISTMAS = WORLD PEACE

Christmas may be a Christian holiday, but when peace is abounding the world around, the holiday should be celebrated weather you are a Christian or not.

I celebrate Christmas in a very special way; by paying homage to my Great Grandpa Lalka in repeating his acts of kindness. Helping those who need a guiding hand while simultaneously keeping my great grandpa’s legacy a live is giving me new meaning every year I am able to place a smile on the face of the children who might otherwise go without a blessing on this day.

Great Grandpa Lalka (Paul Lalka), his family (sons, daughters, brothers and sisters) lived in the Washington (Tacoma) Valley after moving from Czechoslovakia. My great grandpa had a coal business and his brothers owned various stores like a shoe cobbler, a furniture maker and each had his own farm. Because of their businesses, they knew the families in the region who needed a little extra help. In the old country, the family trade was carving and all of the Lalka men whittled. They would fashion toys year round and put together baskets of food to accompany the toys for the family. These baskets were left at the homes on Christmas Eve for the children to find come Christmas day, hence continuing the legend of Santa Clause.

The Lalka family persisted to give year after year eventually garnering attention to their kindness that was happening throughout the Washington Valley. As word spread of their good deeds, my great grandpa took on a new persona for himself and in his duplicitous nature; he felt he needed a new suite that better match his role. He and his brothers created an authentic Santa Suite.

They used crush red velvet for the jacket, pants and the hat. My great grandpa trapped rabbits and used the white fur to line the lapel of the jacket, the cuffs of the sleeves and the brim of the hat. One brother created a very wide belt and another made a huge brass buckle and hand carved buttons for the jacket. My great grandpa didn’t need any padding; he had just enough of his own. He had thinning snow white hair with a long naturally flowing beard.

The family lineage dates back to the fourteenth century and was not our original surname. The last name Lalka was given to the family by a princess as an ancestor walked in to a small village during her visit. As he waited to meet the Princess, she was taken by his alabaster skin, rosy red cheeks, beautiful eyes and striking good looks. She called him lalka meaning doll because she thought he was as beautiful as a doll. The name was taken by the family to honor the princess. This being said, great grandpa Lalka had alabaster skin with rosy red cheeks and a crimson nose. He was the epitome of Santa Clause with the suite that portrayed the jolly man within.

My great grandpa was offered money by every major department store on the North West coast, but he reserved his gifts for those who truly needed them and pandering money to perform acts of kindness was not his motivation. I was honored to have found his legacy and more so to feel the desire to continue keeping it alive. When Great Grandpa passed away, he was given tribute by every major news paper up and down the North West coast with many reserving front page headlines such as the one in the Seattle Tribune, “Santa Clause has Died”!

No one could know that this simple man born in to the meager means of a Czechoslovakian family would have such a positive impact on so many lives. He was a real man who made many mistakes, but giving true love to those who needed was not one of his misgivings. Striving to be just a little more like my Great Grandpa on a daily basis is what Christmas means to me.

While I know it is a Christian holiday, it has pagan roots, but more importantly, when any one day can bring three-quarters of the world together in harmony and with peace, it deserves to be shared and enjoyed by all. I don’t care if it is referred too via any other name, but enjoy the day – share in the enlightenment of the moment and give freely to those who don’t share your gifts.

More importantly, for those parents who wish to teach their children of the true meaning of Christmas...ask your child to give just one toy of their choosing to a child in need. Show them by example with donations to charities who help the less fortunate or something as simple as donating your time to feed the homeless. Children learn when we aren’t teaching. They learn more by our examples then anything lesson we choose to teach. Lessons on compassion and what it truly means to give will do so much in the way of extending the legacy of Santa Clause or someone more down to earth like Paul Lalka.

Christmas is meant to be shared and enjoyed by all and to me that is giving to someone who might otherwise go without. Spread the Christmas Joy and spread this message to all you know and love.

May each and every one reading this be over-come with Love and Peace for the holidays, and each and every day you believe in my message. Thank you for sharing in my meaning of Christmas and may it give you some meaning within your life too.

~~ Warmest wishes for everyone on this day and every day to come~~

Todd M. Dobson

Closing this Blog

19^th of November 2007

Dear Readers,

I must tell you how much I’ve enjoyed writing over the past two years and I am compelled to Thank You for reading these words. I started writing in hopes that my experiences and thoughts could open the minds and the hearts of everyone. I have shared some deeply personal events from my past and present life hoping you might learn from my mistakes or help you do a better job than I did with similar situations. My dreams are that you might use my words as insight to making a better life for yourself and the people you love.

I have been honored by many of you with emails and comments that have challenged me while also showing your appreciation for my words and how many of you receive them. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your support, your questions and the love you’ve shown me over the past two years and it has made me an improved writer, but most importantly it has made me a better person. That is why I write and publish such personal insight into my life in hopes you can help me become a more loving, caring person. The kind of person who knows how to empathize when necessary, the kind of person who can stand tall with the knowledge that you’ve made me choose a better life for myself and for the people I love. You’re emails have touched my heart as you’ve conveyed how you felt the same way as I describe previous experiences. I can only hope that you’ve learned something…anything from my experiences and that I have touched your lives if only in a fraction of the manner each of you has touched mine.

It is with these words that I am enormously saddened that I will not be blogging under my name or under the mantra “Love, Honor & Respect”. It has come to my attention that there are people close to me who take my words, turn them and use them in hopes of tarnishing my character. While I care less what people think about me; I am extremely comforted with the knowledge that I am making myself a man of morals, a man who cares greatly for others and only want to share that mindset with the rest of the world. I am encouraged to find that many people read my words of wisdom finding them as something to cherish instead of how others use my words to dishonor me for their own person/professional gain. I can only say that a person who has so little love for themselves can only feel happiness and pleasure at the expense of others and thereby they are not worthy of being called my friend or family.

For these reasons and only these reasons I have created a pseudonym and will continue publishing my words via other blogging sites. I am extremely distressed to say this will be my final blog on this and all sites under the mantra “Love, Honor & Respect”. If you wish to read my words, please email me at blog@tmdobson.com and I will gladly forward you the sites you will be able to read my thoughts.

Thank you again for the support and love you’ve shared with me and I hope you find my other sites as compelling and sensitive as my existing one has been.

Your humble servant – Todd M. Dobson

Message to Phelps...just not from God

Message to Phelps...just not from God

1^st of November 2007

Message to Phelps, but Not From God

$10.9 Million Dollar Message

Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka Kansas was given a very loud message yesterday, but will the Phelps Family and followers listen to a judgment that wasn't handed down from GOD?

I was deeply saddened in March of 2006 when I read that the funeral of slain Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder had been picketed by the Phelps family with support of their church, Westboro Baptis Church. I moved rapidly from peaceful to rage within seconds at the seemingly repugnance I felt for how any one person could justify picketing with signs and bull horns at the funeral of any person. Then my rage boiled over because this wasn't just any person, this was a decorated, slain United States Marine who was fighting for the freedoms that allowed these sycophants to disturb the tragic circumstances the Snyder family had to endure as they tried to find solace in the death of their family member.

I was elated to read yesterday's news to see the awarded sum of more than 11.9 million dollars to be paid by the Phelps family and the Westboro Baptist Church. My first thought was it doesn't change the fact that the Snyder's lost their only son nor did it reduce the pain and suffering they endured on top of an already overwhelming time that no parent should ever have to undergo. I sat with a smile stretched across my face due to the good feelings about a judgment handed down by this jury without regret for the elation overwhelming me. Knowing how much I loath and hate judgments because they are rarely used for good, but rather mostly by those Christians to elevate themselves to a status level above all other sinners. I try to find the good in each and every person or circumstances. Even when I cannot understand someone for their starch opposition to any situation, I can normally find respect for the manner in which they justify their convictions.

This morning my heart was darkened by the fact that I could neither agree with their stance nor could I find respect for what they do or how they go about it. I strive daily to understand that which I don't know by asking myself if Jesus were here, how would this man have answered Mr. Phelps. If Jesus were here how would he show me to find the love in my heart for a man and a family that rages against humanity for the simple sake of an angry outburst? My position started to bother me more than the situation itself and I could not resolve myself to the position of judging even this horrible man for his actions. I pride myself in looking for both sides of every situation. I can find most motivational factors for most people and in the case of the Phelps' family, I still think the reason Mr. Fred Phelps is so insistent on anti-gay everything is that he is either a huge closeted homosexual that was incensed in his early years at the thoughts he probably had favoring another young man. It could have been that he secretly wants the largest bull dyke with a huge strap-on dick to fuck him and hard. It has to be the fist because I don't know any lesbian that would get close enough to Mr. Phelps' ass in order to even stick a titanic sized dildo within his enlarging prostrate…they have too much integrity to do something like that.

Seriously, my conundrum greatly disturbed me as I ate my breakfast this morning deeper in though than usual and it finally came to me! Todd, you are only human and Jesus was divinely guided, I am only guided by my beliefs and the heart beating within my chest and the soul encompassed by this physical form. I am able to be human and allow feelings that are not always of a higher order. I don't always have to find the good in absolutely everyone. Just to let you, my readers know, I am also not so deluded that I don't realize there are just bad people in this world and with whom doing bad things just for the sake of doing horrible acts against as many people as they can. I know this to be true, but even in those cases, a person can usually find a path that led them to where they are, rarely does a person get up one morning and decide they are going to picket the funeral of a grieving family for a decorated war hero. Crimes of hate are committed with far more planning and thought as apposed to being spontaneous.

Knowing this does not grant me any solace in the enjoyment I felt at the possible dissolution of a cult-like group calling themselves a church. Society as a whole must continue to search our hearts because Fred Phelps did not wake up one summer day in 1947 and decide he was going to be a man who would rid North America of all of its undesirables. The hate he feels was thought to him and he has continue cultivating his heritage of hate towards all who they deem are inferior.

Be brave enough to make up your own mind when listening to your local clergy, politician, family or friend who is espousing something that deep within your own heart you know to be wrong. We are better when we Love, Honor & Respect all of those who share the same air we breath, drink the same water we drink and the blood running within their veins gushes from their fragile body just as yours does when either is cut. Humanity is better without the Fred Phelps of the world and we have the power to silence the only voice he has.

Your humble servant – Todd M. Dobson

Part II: Interesting Events Happened Today

5^th of November 2007,

Part II: Interesting Events Happened Today

I can’t believe how much the events of yesterday have bothered me. I had a busy day in the office; yet my mind was pre-occupied with the details of yesterday. It has been like a nagging fly that won’t leave me alone and even though I forced myself to focus on my work and the projects underway, this has been in the back of my head and worrisome. I was so packed with apprehension that would not alleviate that it was changing from light apprehension to extreme alarm with why this continued to bother me. When out of sheer exasperation, I finally cleared my mind it actually came to me as to why this has been such an over-burdening issue.

The construct of it is when the Sheppard boy cried wolf; that is what happened yesterday. I reacted out of instinct when the lady screamed and I witnessed the man running away with her purse. My response is not common; in fact, I was the only one who took off after him. Not one other person took those steps and that can have more to do with the facts that countless times the Good Samaritan becomes the victim today. I know it has stopped me from stopping to help someone that is on the side of the road at night. I instinctively did what was right to do under the circumstances, but my conscience won’t let it go because she was not in danger nor did she loose anything that belonged to her. The perception that called on me to respond not knowing if the man had a knife or a gun or if by tackling him would land me in a lawsuit because he might have been harmed at my reaction. None of these were thoughts as I responded to what we have been conditioned as a cry for help and in some small way, the need for protection. As it turned out, the woman in this matter was just acting and was in no danger at all. Because there was no danger, the risk I took had there not been a van for our villain to dive in to was far greater because had I actually tackled him, I would have been violating his rights as he never would have violated hers. The dilemma sharpened because while most people were not aware of what was going to happen, they were aware that something was to occur and they were to just watch and observe taking as many mental notes as possible. My only criticism is that doesn’t that remove the element of surprise and diminishes the entire focus for the show itself.

Once I acknowledged the preoccupation of my senses with the experience at the cafe, I felt better about the circumstances. I can’t change the events and I can’t prevent a company from researching human behavior, but I can take ownership of me. I can only hope the next situation I am faced with that calls for swiftness my hesitation is not what cost someone dearly and that was the honest cost of yesterday’s research and quest for ratings.

The next time a company wants to research the collective capabilities of the human mind, I suggest they use any other form for stimuli as apposed to placing someone within harms way for the sole fact to garner ratings for television…human life is worth so much more than ratings.

Your humble servant – Todd M. Dobson

Interesting Events Happened Today

Iteresting Events Happened Today

4^th of November 2007

Interesting Events Happened Today

As if my weekend hasn't been one of the most interesting that I've had in the past seven years, I am perplexed with the events of today and why I feel so odd about them.

Today was such a beautiful day with temperatures in the mid seventies (Fahrenheit, about seventeen to eighteen degrees Celsius) with a clean sunny clear blue sky and a light breeze keeping just that chill in the air to remind us that winter finally is arriving. I was awaken by my puppy around 8:30 AM as usual for every Sunday morning and I got up rejoicing in the silence by completing a blog about the horrible Phelps family and the Westboro Baptist Church. I look up from my computer screens to see I am already late to meet some friend's downtown to watch a double header softball game where one friend is playing and several others are rooted the team on.

I got to the field very late, but watched the remainder of the game and dispensing my farewells to my friends as I walked around the sparsely populated park. The day was such a beautiful day and the walk was relaxing as my mind wondered over the news that a publishing house wants to publish my book. It was so peaceful as I was refusing to make my way back home for fear that reality might step back in to my life and change the past few days events, so I continued walking the park taking in the sculpted bodies of the running men by thinking what a glorious weekend this has been.

I sat in the park relaxing and having a wonderful time when a friend – David walked up and greeted me with a smile. We walked around the park and changed our direction towards the book store to meet his friend Dwayne and they were going to get a byte to eat. I tagged along, not really hungry, but not wanting to leave their good company, so we walked down to two café's just on the edge of the park so that we could enjoy a panini sandwich.

I flirted with the waiter who sat us outside in the glorious sun inside a fenced-in outdoor seating area. There was no rush to the day or to our order as everyone was enjoying themselves and the people flowing in and out of the two outdoor sitting areas were all chatting with friends and family. If you haven't already realized from my many blogs, I notice absolutely everything and especially every good looking guy. As we were finishing our food chatting about many things and yet nothing important at all, I watched as a very handsome man casually walked up towards the fenced in area, but staying on the other side.

I was sitting back in my chair as I noticed him as he appeared to be waiting for someone with his stunning features almost like a Nordic to German type man pacing about. He stood around 5'9" to maybe 5'10" tall with a slender build; maybe 145 to 155 pounds. He wore dark jean with a light top and a ski-type hat on his head. He had longer hair that was sandy-blond with sun high-lights on the ends of his hair that stuck outside his hat around the bottom-back side and just above his eyes. His eyes were medium sunken in and were a color more like blue to a lighter color, but I couldn't really see them clearly enough as he continued pacing and moving about. He was positioned in the area a good five minutes and as I watched him I noticed just how agitated he seemed, but it was a controlled restlessness.

We were talking and instantly I hear the lady closest to the fence scream as peripherally I see the pacing guy take off running with a dark colored purse within his grasp. It seemed to happen slowly at this point because I had my knife between my fingers and I dropped it slid my chair back and spun around the corner to my right, side-stepping the dog that laid at the entrance of the fenced-in area and I started running at great hast to stop the purse snatcher. There was a large van parked in the very end spot that blocked my vision as I turned that corner, but as I sprinted to the end of the parking lot I was scanning across the street and up the street for my handsome thief when I see an Atlanta Police officer walking towards me from up the street by a few paces. As the officer approached me I started to break my stride because I couldn't find the purse snatcher when I heard the man tell me "it's OK…don't worry…this was all staged". I turned in an instant more out of instinct still looking for my adorable thief when I see him inside the van laughing as another Atlanta Police officer closes the door to the van.

What was just told to me starts to sink in as the other officer is chuckling a little and it suddenly hits me what a fool I've been. I walk back to my friends as I see a camera man and several people walking amongst the guest inside the eating areas asking people if they witnessed anything and asking for details of what they witnessed. My feeling was one that perplexed me as much as anything I've experienced lately and I don't understand why I feel so bad about what these circumstances. I didn't enter inside the fenced-in area or sit back down at my table, I just stood several feet away outside the fence watching a lady walk directly out of the doors of the café and over to the table where I had been sitting. I heard her ask David and Dwayne if they witnessed anything and ask them to complete an agreement allowing them to be interviewed. She was searching for me as I took another step back away from them to remove myself from her focus. She is looking for me when she turns around and directly engages me asking me to sign a release form and I calmly decline. She insist and I tell her that it would not behoove me to either be interviewed or cause them any trouble, but that I will not participate in this charade any further.

The lady gave me a very quizzical look and seemed to be offended by my comments to her when she abruptly turned and continued interviewing David and Dwayne. I took two steps backwards towards a tree as the police officer who told me it was OK was standing a few steps away from me. He ask quietly as he stepped towards me if I was an off-duty officer or militarily trained and I never even looked at him as I responded No, just a concerned citizen as I continued to watch my friends having their pictures taken and more questions asked of them. The officer paused for a moment when he said, the guy didn't stand a chance against me and I looked at him as he tilted his head to me and walked away.

I felt proud if only for an instant, but curiously enough the feeling faded quickly as again I felt almost betrayed for some reason and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I understand all too clearly what the interviewers were after because I've written about it both in the preface to my book and in two blogs. They want to recode who witnessed what and show how everybody will have a completely different recollection to the events that transpired. As I've written in the past, it has to do with us being humans and each one of us being different. We have different life forces and different events that shaped who we are. Because of our experiences and our past, we collect facts differently than the person next to us. Complicating matters even more, we use different parts of our brains and that comes back to who has what talents. Some of us use our left brain while others use our right brains. No matter, it makes for a difference in how we store current events and how we recall those same set of events.

I appreciate what they're doing; however, it still has not made me feel better about the events as they happened. I can't explain why I felt so let down because I don't really understand it myself. I had hoped my feelings would pass because neither they nor I did anything to warrant shame. So why do I feel as I do? Why can't I just let it pass for what it was a testament to our humanity and that which makes us different. I understand it completely and yet, I still feel somehow I was duped in some way.

Your humble servant – Todd M. Dobson

The Most Amazing News for ME!!!

3^rd of November 2007

Hello My Readers,

Many of you read my blogs and have commented directly on this site and other sites about the experiences of my life that I've written about. The support you provided me has spurred me to press forward with something that was once laughable and then turned in to a possible dream.

As many of you know seven years ago I left Montreal and left the love of my life...my soul mate. Ian aloud our relationship to wither and die for some inexplicable reason while I was helpless to save its ravaged form. It takes two to share love but only one for a relationship to survive and Ian gave up on himself and on us. I struggled for more than eighteen months feeling each and every day like I was submerged beneath the surface of water drowning. Unable to catch my breath and with no way to salvage our relationship I continued descending to the murky depths or darkness and depression.

It took me four years to overcome the thoughts of Ian or wish him next to me and one of the ways I accomplished that amazing feet on my own was to start writing about him. I wrote about my anger and the eighty-six thousand dollars he owes me. I wrote about how I missed touching is beautiful skin and sculpted features. I was tortured by his lingering French accent and the eyes that once made me feel safe, warm and loved. I wrote of how we met and how for the first time in my life I understood how amazing love should always be. I also wrote in great details with the descriptions of a blind painter how we met, how we fell in love and how we ignited passion with fires of lust and the most amazing sex two people could ever share.

I wrote all of my feelings in to this manuscript without any order or conscience decision to organize my thoughts. Without ever thinking of what I was doing, I wrote this wondrous manuscript that many friends have read and prompted me to publish. You must understand that it was writing this book and the first women who read this book and pressed me to publish it. Dale's voice in my head gave birth to me thinking that my writing may be helpful to some people and was the precipitous to my blogging. I never was able to write before this experience. My book (Love, Honor & Respect) is really good and extremely descriptive and brings you into our world as if you are walking with us each step of the way. I still can't read it without correcting this or that. I can't open those pages without getting excited when I read of our first sexual encounters or cry every page when he rips my heart out with dishonesty and the loss of such great love.

I received a phone call yesterday with the most amazing news that I have wanted so dearly for so long; my manuscript is being published. My dreams of publishing that book that holds so many personal details about my life, my love and the darkest moments of my life is going to be for sale in a matter of months. I am elated beyond all belief. I know one thing that I want to do and that is to Thank You. Thank each and every one of you for your support of my writing and to thank you for telling me how my experiences have helped you. I love that I hear from so many people how the events from my life can help any one person. The love that so many of you have shown has pushed me to want to publish this book. I am dearly grateful and I hope that once my first book is published that each of you enjoy the parts of my life within its pages.

Deeply grateful,

Todd M. Dobson