Lessons for Life ~ Love

18^th of July 2009

Series called:

LESSONS FOR LIFE ~ LOVE

I hope that some of the lessons (Lessons for Life) written about in this blog resonate with a part of you. This message is one that should be the most obvious; however, I for one know from experience just how difficult it can be to see through the clouds that enshroud our daily lives.

The greatest gift we have to give anyone, including ourselves, is LOVE! To some that may sound trite, and yet there is nothing more important than understanding how LOVE moves within our lives. I’ve written many times how we enter this world knowing only one thing…how to LOVE, and yet, we are taught everything else.

The reason we know how to love when we are born has as much to do with the place we come from as it does that we spend up to nine months inside a cradle constructed for LOVE...the womb of our mother. In most cases that person radiates love when she’s pregnant. We cannot come into this world with the cumulative knowledge of our previous lifetimes, because it would impede those lessons we agreed to learn. For the majority of us, the process of growing within our mother’s womb is also a central focus of the love that is cherished by both mother and child.

It must also be said that regardless of the circumstances surrounding our lifetime, we must discover how to love ourselves. Many of us have experienced some truly atrocious things within this lifetime. If you have suffered from abuse, neglect and dysfunction, I do understand how difficult it is to do something as simple as loving yourself. Many of us think that it is far easier to find love from another, but that will never give you the depth or the breath of the LOVE that you require. We must do that for ourselves in order to know that what we receive from others may be wondrous, but it is cursory to that which we know within ourselves.

I am speaking of a LOVE that you share with another. A deep and abiding LOVE that you share with that special person as you build your own family. This Love is truly a gift and must be cherished as you give unconditionally to that person and receive simultaneously from them. There is nothing that can emulate the feeling as you find that one person and infatuation blossoms into a deep, fulfilling LOVE that you desire as your heart aches in their absence.

I am also referencing a love that you give freely to all others who surround you and enter our lives through all sources. Yes, the person you read about in the news or see on the television should invoke a sense of LOVE and COMPASSION. Yes, this love is different from that you share with someone special, but your neighbors, your co-workers, colleges and even the people you meet on the street deserve your LOVE. We must refrain from judging others because unless we are able to walk in their foot steps, we are truly incapable of knowing how or why they got where they are now. That is where the LOVE in our hearts needs to be sent even to the person we pass on the road during our travels. The nameless person that we catch a glimpse of in passing, deserve the same LOVE that we send to our family, our friends and those we cherish dearly. Even then, it is our responsibility to find it within our heart to choose LOVE over all other emotions during the course of our daily lives. That may be a more challenging concept to digest; as you think, “I must love the stranger who bumps into me at the coffee shop spilling my double foam chi late all over my new suit. The answer is “Yes!” As difficult as you think that may be, it is our duty to find it within our heart to feel LOVE as apposed to anger, frustration or any other emotion.

LOVE comes and goes in many different forms. As the world continues to change, we must connect with LOVE as our primary emotion, but let it be that which we fall too first, last and always. For the average person that is not how we focus our daily living, but it should be. As we make the change in connecting to LOVE, we will find that it is easier to give and to receive. Let LOVE be your focus always and forever, it will never lead you astray.

LOVE CAN NEVER BE WRONG

Your humble servant – Todd M Dobson

Be The Hero

15th of April 2008

BE THE HERO

It struck me tonight with the honors of a young man who saved a little boy from a dog attack that he truly was a hero to that little boy. It was amazing that he was there and had the courage to take the necessary action to save another soul.

This was a nice story that I’ve been reading about over the past several days and this young man is truly a hero and deserves the accolades he’s receiving; but then so do each and every one who is a daily hero. I don’t mean to diminish this young man’s efforts or actions, but I want you thinking about your daily life. Think about the people who do courageous things for you that could use a thank you, a pat on the back or more. No I’m not trying to hang a hero plaque on every man who opens a door open for a lady, but that too deserves recognition for the effort; but more importantly bring your focus on the un-sung heroes that are among us each and every day.

Yes, when a person gives up their seat on a bus or subway to an elderly person or a man for a lady. Appreciate the gesture for what it is, a sign of respect and honor that one person is granting to another. This is not done much anymore because we all get too hurried with out own lives that we forget the pleasantries from yesterday. Parents aren’t teaching children today or reminding them to even use the niceties like “Thank You”, Ma’am, Sir or any of the signs of respect, so how can we expect our youth to understand meanings to words like Honor, Respect or what a true hero is other than Superman or Spiderman.

More importantly, we all need to seize opportunities to be a hero for someone amongst us. Yes, I know most people are too scared to get involved because of law suites and worst, accidents that turn deadly. I do understand, but in most cases, it only takes a second out of your day, but probably means the world to the person you’re helping.

Examples to define more clearly what I mean…you’re coming out of the local Mall and may have a package or not in your hands, but you see an elderly woman with a cane and multiple bags trying to get down the stairs and over to a bus. It only takes a second to ask how she is and if you can be of assistance to her. She may say “No” and if she does, don’t worry about it, the gesture was great. Feel good that you made it. She may not trust you, but needs some help and offering a hand may be exactly what she needs. You comment to her in a relaxing manner how beautiful the weather is and ask how she’s doing as you help this lady and her packages to the bus. It takes two minutes in total...maybe even five, but she will remember your kind act for ever. To her you are a hero!

When the person in the car next to you turns on their blinker while you’ve been sitting in traffic for an hour, let them go in front of you. It is simple and didn’t save a life, but what if she has a sick child at home that she is rushing home too…maybe it did, but the act within itself was good.

We forget just how important the people around us are and you must open your eyes to see who needs a helping hand. In my life I’ve always tried to take that little extra step and I can remember the first time I did something really brave that may or may not have helped. I was fifteen years old and had been driving into town. I was in my fathers little beat up Datsun when I noticed the car in front of me swerve over into on coming traffic with a person honking their horn coming at them and then swerve way back over and off the road and then back in the lane again. I could see the driver’s head bounce forward and then backwards like a rag dolls that was being tossed around by a little girls brother who was about to enact some revenge on little sisters doll as the passenger was reaching over to take control of the wheel. There was a kid in the back seat yelling and crying as the lady in the car was pulling it over and off the road into a parking lot. The car came to a screeching halt and she was crying with the son in the back seat jumping all over the back of the car yelling and screaming while it sounds in slow motion, this was all within seconds.

Without even thinking I whipped the car off the road in front of theirs and actually killed the car because I just let the clutch out without turning the car off or putting it in neutral as I was opening the door, unbuckling the seatbelt and running back to the old Ford behind me. His lips were blue from choking on something, but he was also flailing around. He was halfway lying over the legs of the lady as she was trying to pull him over the full seat towards her as she yelled uncontrollably at him and their son at the same time, but she didn’t know what to do. It is strange because I haven’t thought about this in years and never told anyone in my family about it, but what still amazes me was somehow I was calm while moving almost as if I knew what I was doing. Yes, I had taken a CPR class at school, but there was never any mention of seizures, the Heimlich Maneuver or what to do when someone was choking, but I rolled him onto his stomach and moved him over her knees telling her to shit still, while I flat palmed slapped him in the square of his back twice and then rolled him on his side telling her to keep him on his side. I thought he was eating food or something, when he started to choke on it; but later I found out he was choking on his own tongue. By placing him on his side afterwards it kept his airways open and he started to breathe. The seizure was a mild one but I didn’t know what it was and the wife was trying to tell me that he had them all the time and he would be alright. I still was saying call 911, but before I could run down the road to the closest convenience store up on the opposite side of the road when the business proprietor came telling us help was coming. This was before cell phones and the closest phone booth was up the road and across the street.

The police got to the scene quickly and so did the ambulance, they were not that far, so I got in my dad’s car and left. The man was coming around and his wife was taking care of it so I would have only been in the way. I didn’t need a medal or an article in the local news paper to tell me I did something right. I don’t even know that I did anything right or that my actions saved a man. I was a scared fifteen year old boy who just saw something and responded accordingly. I never even received a Thank You from the people, but that was really OK too. It was the right thing to do and I was grateful I was there.

I am not advocating that I was a hero or that you must do something like this for consideration. Actually, I am advocating just the opposite. Being a hero is noticing that someone needs help and providing that help. It may be holding the door for them or it may be performing CPR. It may be helping a neighbor mow her yard and it may be volunteering at the local Nursing Home. It may be teaching a child how to read or helping with school work or coaching sports. Being a real hero is all of these things and everything in between. So tomorrow when you’re on your way to work, look for your opportunity to be a hero for the person next to you and no matter if they thank you or not, know in your heart you did something good…something right.

Be a Hero for Someone Today!

Your humble servant – Todd M. Dobson