15th of July 2007
Taking Sex out of Homosexuality
I read an excellent article under the Speak section of Southern Voice. Written by Laura Douglas-Brown called “Sex Matters” (http://sovo.com/2007/7-13/view/editorial/7192.cfm), published in the 13th of July 2007 edition and it raises some well founded points that resonated with many of my own thoughts.
When will we as a society learn that we are all inter-connected with everybody else in this world? When will we face the facts that we must take responsibility for all that happens around us and not just for the maladjusted antics that we push on to society. We are the reason that causes action and re-action. Let me explain what I mean, because many of you are scratching your head right now thinking you have nothing to do with the bank robber, the accident that happened on the highway this morning or even with how well or bad you feel George W. Bush is doing as President of the
The article that has me writing today instead of watching another mind numbing program on television as I get over yet another sinus infection where the drugs tend to leave me in a haze of dizziness has Ms. Douglas-Brown explaining how her personal experience with her own family reunion and how even among those in our family who seem to accept our homosexuality, can still put up walls for those parts of our lives they don’t like to see. They would prefer if we took the sex out of Homosexual and left it in our own bedroom and not on display for them to have to see.
Ms. Douglas-Brown brings up to the point by explaining how politicians and religious leaders have been doing this for many years and how our acceptance of their white wash of our lives is a very destructive behavior to tolerate. Her examples are the government’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policies, whereby gay men and women who serve their country in our armed forces must not act on their homosexuality. They are not aloud to speak about it or even answer honestly when asked questions by a superior officer. If “Honor” really stood for anything in our armed forces, don’t you think this policy goes against any real meaning of the word? It was a ridiculous mid point that the Clinton Administration felt was better than loosing when attempting to answer on a campaign promise he made to the gay and lesbian communities. Mr. Clinton promised to allow gay men and women who wished to serve their country by joining the armed forces the ability to do so without retribution from superiors who might question their sexuality. Next time Mr. Clinton, please loose the fight, because your compromise has given the armed forces a tool by which they have kicked more people out of their ranks under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell than they ever did before. Again I ask you to think about how we are all interconnected. If a gay man or a lesbian women find that the armed forces is their calling and they make a great warrior, however we tell them that the only way they can serve their country is that they must live a lie or don’t act on their natural tendencies for love or sex. That in order for them to do the job they are called to do they cannot live a full or satisfying life? Why would anyone want to live under such restrictive or appalling manner? Why should they deny an instinct that is so primal to them just as eating and shelter are for you to survive? Can anyone deny a natural instinct for very long before they want to just bust open? No, I would find it exceptionally difficult to argue that point on anyone’s behalf. So why would so many American’s want to keep so many people from living a full life. Because they don’t want to understand or even know anything about homosexuality nor do they want to accept that it is ok to be different. Because they were taught to hate all people who are different.
Ms. Douglas-Brown also brings in the taboo religious aspects of this mind set. The army that is pushing the religious agenda of acceptance of your gay sons and daughters, but they must leave the sex outside the conversation and out from in front of their eyes call themselves Christians. It is OK to love the sinner, but not the sin is how most of them frame it. Well, I have some very different opinions on what is a sin and who is the sinner. I love to hear apposing views and I am enthralled with a good debate, however the Christian right keeps changing their opinions so much that it is becoming increasingly difficult to know where they’re coming from and where they’re going. Their message keeps changing, but the core of their message “hate the sin, not the sinner” still preaches hate and oppression which the last time I read the Bible was never what Jesus, the son of God ever did. Has anyone in the Christian right ever really looked at the Bible for guidance on this issue with an open mind. I can argue point for point and verse for verse that they normally argue, but the old tired verses can’t be what spur so many to hate and oppress a growing group of human beings. Outside of a naked desire to oppress other people and to cultivate how hate is the fuel that burns within their hearts; there is no real argument that anyone can intelligently bring as a defense against homosexuality other than fear.
I hear it from my own family and it never ceases to amaze me how it stings when hate drips from the lips of the ones that are suppose to love you. How good church going people find that acceptance in summoning words of discourse and anger that are directed towards someone who is gay. Hate is hate and it hurts no matter who is spewing it and from where it comes. If hate is dripping from the lips of the devoted only to make the scent fouler, how could you ever expect any gay men or women to ever believe in Christianity ever again? As I have written before, hate is not something we come into this world knowing how to do. We are taught how to hate. We learn how to loath and speak ill of others from the very people we love the most.
Remember that it is hate that we teach our children that later encourages a teenager to steel. It is hate that teaches them to pick up a gun and kill an innocent person or lords forbid a school full of them. It is hate that left an innocent Matthew Sheppard tied to a fence, broken and rip from the world he was so hopeful about. When the crime happens closer to home, you must remember that it is all of us that teach others how to hate. We have ample opportunities to correct that venom that boils in the hearts of the unloved. It is up to all of us to turn the cheek and tell the world that we must stand against oppression of any kind. We must feed the hungry and we must love the forgotten.
When we come together based on what we have in common instead of segregating ourselves based on our differences; that is when we will start making a difference in the world around us. When we use the book we call our bibles as a shield and a sword to protect the man standing next to us espousing the message that makes our own blood boil; then and only then will we truly live a life exemplifying that of Jesus Christ. When we can truly see our neighbors for all that is most like ourselves instead of how they are different from us; then we can truly call ourselves free. I can imagine a day when this starts to happen, and I hope that I get to see and feel the peace in the world when it does. It can start today and you can be the first to bring it about. Wave thank you to the person who lets you over in bad traffic. Give up your seat on the bus or train to a person who can use it more than you. Say “Hello” to the person in the office that hates you and remember that spreading true love takes such little effort while hate drains the energy from us like a disease.
Only when we learn to Love, Honor and Respect all of those around us will we really be free from oppression and hate. Start today and every other day can be a brighter and more peaceful tomorrow for us all.
Todd M. Dobson
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